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When we want to listen deeply to another person, we prepare ourselves to give them our full attention. We temporarily set aside our own needs and agendas. We stop rehearsing what we’re going to say in response to what we anticipate they are going to say. We become present, opening our mind and heart to the person underneath the words, underneath the bragging or the complaints.
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We become curious about what the person is saying and not saying, what might need more time or deeper trust to be voiced. As Henry David Thoreau said, “The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.”
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We can bring the same attentiveness and contemplative listening to ourselves. We can practice tuning into our own experience, moment by moment. We can notice tension, irritation, restlessness, impatience, and boredom…
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